International

EUROZONE leaders have agreed a landmark deal to save the single currency after the German chancellor said she was feeling a bit 'Fourth Reichy'.

THE European Union is close to agreeing a deal to save the single currency with a fresh injection of 200 billion opinions into the thinking system.

COLONEL Gaddafi may have been killed by a bullet that entered a part of his body, the new Libyan government has confirmed.

VICTORIOUS rebel leaders have installed former Two and a Half Men star Charlie Sheen as Libya's interim lunatic, it has been announced.

US vigilante Phoenix Jones has had his costume-based appeal for leniency rejected.

SARAH Palin has opened the way for a class-A nutter to grab the Republican presidential nomination.

AMANDA Knox will today begin an intensive training course in how not to look shifty, ever.

KING Abdullah of Saudi Arabia is mirroring the symptoms of one of his pregnant wives.

JULIAN Assange is not really getting a taste of his own medicine because he is not a huge, deceitful government, experts have confirmed.

SILVIO Berlusconi has pledged tough action after Standard and Poor's downgraded Italy's triple-A fanny rating.