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Britain's Oldest Cat 'Hates Asians'

BRITAIN'S oldest cat hates Asians and thinks the Siamese are all 'bi-sexual scroungers', it emerged last night.

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Teddy Row Teacher Calls Dirt-Box 'Jesus'

TEDDY row teacher Gillian Gibbons is a serial blasphemer who refers to her back-passage as 'Jesus', the Daily Mash can reveal. 

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