Your Problems Solved

Out of desperation I pointed out to my husband that watermelons have the same stimulating properties as Viagra and he agreed to try one out. However, he enjoyed it so much that he has moved it into our bed and asked me to sleep in the spare room because I am putting him off. He says if he leaves it in the microwave for a few seconds first it feels better than the real thing, or his sock. Sammi Salisbury.

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Churches Urged To Ban Noisy Little Shits

CHURCHES should be given the right to remove noisy little shits the very second they open their mouths, campaigners said last night.

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