Dear Holly,I’ve developed a really embarrassing problem related to my anal region, which is slightly less elastic than it used to be, resulting in sudden and unfortunate expulsions of gas at the most inappropriate moments. I thought I was getting away with it, until last weekend at a wedding. I had just asked if anyone knew of any lawful impediment as to why the marriage could not go ahead, only to provide the involuntary response myself, much to the surprise and disgust of the congregation, and voiding the marriage in the process. How can I stop this terrible affliction before the funeral I’m doing next week?Father MichaelWells-next-the-Sea

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