Dear Holly,The other night, something incredible happened to me. I was sitting watching Coronation Street, when suddenly, Ken Barlow came out of the TV set and grabbed me around the neck. His eyes were burning with an intense, pink fire, boring into me as he boomed, ‘your mission is to eradicate those who work against me, and who deny my absolute power. Go this day to Morrisons supermarket and buy all of the Findus Crispy Chicken available, and some Sarsons vinegar. Fight to the death anyone who stands in your way. When you get home, bury the vinegary chicken treasure in your garden, light a fire and await my next message’. With a puff of smoke, he was gone. Do you think this was a genuine vision, or was it all the cannabis?Dave,Rochester

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