Dear Holly, Every Tuesday evening, while my wife is out at her exercise class, I like to have what I’ve come to think affectionately of as a ‘zumba wank’ to relieve the day’s tension. I close the curtains, switch on the telly and beat one off to that fresh-faced Welsh lassie from the One Show. Unfortunately, last Tuesday I was mid-stroke when my wife returned unexpectedly and now she just keeps crying all the time and won’t even look at me. Is there any way I can erase her memory without causing terrible brain damage?Dennis,Felixstowe  

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