Dear Holly,I’ve come to the decision that the people of Britain have been far too naughty this year, what with all the looting and rioting and striking, so instead of wasting my time on Christmas eve delivering presents, I’m going to have some well deserved ‘me time’:  a soapy wank in the bath, quaff a couple of bottles of Baileys and watch the Downton Christmas special in my slanket. Do you think this a good idea or is Downton Abbey a load of overhyped shit? Love,Santa

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