Dear Holly, I have a female colleague at work who is making my life a misery. She's really ambitious and competitive, and she tries to better everything I do, especially when the boss is around. I've been trying to ignore her endless one-upmanship for a while now, but it's getting close to the point where if she tells me her lunch looks more tasty than mine one more time I'm going to staple her eyelids to the desk, set fire to her hair, and forcibly insert a filing cabinet into her anus. Is there a last solution you can offer me before I resort to violence? Sybil Peterborough
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