Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly, I've come into a bit of money recently, and I am considering giving a large chunk of it to charity. I'm hoping that by giving something to those less fortunate than myself, it will tip the karmic balance and this sexy blonde girl who works in my office will finally let me pump her. Surely, when she finds out I've donated to a worthy cause she'll start to look beyond my receding hairline and beer belly and want to ravish me for being so righteous? Do you think giving to charity is a viable strategy for getting laid? It seems to me that everyone's a winner. Bruce, Stafford

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UK Children Approaching Maximum Thickness

BRITAIN'S children are now just two years away from maximum thickness, according to the latest exam statistics.

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