Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly,I don’t seem to be able to hang on to a man, no matter what I do. It’s not that I have any difficulties getting them in the first place: I just show a bit of nipple down the chippie and next thing I’m kneeling by the bins being pounded from behind by a hairy stranger. It’s the keeping hold of them that I can’t seem to master. Once it’s all over, and I’ve gathered up my chips, I turn around and the gentleman has completely vanished. Happens every time. Can you give me any pointers for progressing to the next stage of a relationship? Sandra,Tunbridge Wells

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You Owe Us A Total Ride, Men Tell Home Office

IF the Home Office has even a shred of decency left it will immediately replace Anna Chapman with something of comparable humpability, Britain’s men said last night.

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