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Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) A bad first day as an elephant poacher as you turn up for work with a 2,000 gallon drum of boiling water and a 40-foot slotted spoon.

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Ukulele market crashes

THE second-hand value of a ukulele has plummeted to £1.12 after thousands simultaneously lost interest in the stringed instrument.

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