Dear Holly,The other day, my girlfriend asked me if I would talk dirty to her during our lovemaking sessions as apparently she would find this a huge turn on. Being rather shy, I am extremely embarrassed at the prospect and would much prefer to remain silent, but she’s pretty insistent. So I was thinking of maybe starting off with something along the lines of ‘I’m going to rub dog dirt all over your fat tits’ and then maybe lead into ‘your farts smell worse than a decomposing corpse, you elderly whore of Satan’.  Does sound about right?Rev John MacDonaldBattersea 

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