Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Capricorn (22 DEC-19 JAN)Silence around the Christmas dinner table as your uncle says he hasn’t seen that much meat stuffed up the same bird since he was in Bangkok with the Merchant Navy.

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Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

Dear Holly,It’s once again time for my work Christmas party and this year I have vowed to ensure I don’t go home alone. I have my eye on a couple of prospects: Sheila from accounts whose husband recently died, and a woman called Maria who works on reception and has some manner of palsy. Neither of them is particularly young or good looking, but when you’re as desperate as I, you have no choice but target the weak and the lame. The only problem is that sad old women like Sheila and Maria tend to go home early from these types of things, before you’ve had a chance to slip anything into their drinks. Can you suggest any clever techniques for holding someone against their will without leaving any visible marks?Victor,Tyneside

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