Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Gemini (21 MAY-20 JUN)Either you’re trying to grow a moustache or you’ve had an armpit implant on your top lip. Either way, you look like a Frenchman.

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Government sexual health adviser to be hatchet-faced old bag

BRITAIN’S sexual health policy will be decided by 68-year-old spinster Margaret Gerving.

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