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I’m not ignoring Valentine’s Day because I’m single, I’m ignoring it because it’s bullshit

“PLEASE don’t think I’m refusing to engage with Valentine’s Day because I won’t be receiving any cards. It’s actually because it’s a massive pile of wank.

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Boris Johnson unveils sock puppet sidekick

BORIS Johnson will use his Brexit speech today to introduce Little Boris, a puppet on his right hand that foolishly supports Remain. 

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