McDonalds launches Paul McMullan happy meal

Merchandise includes action figure, juice glass and plastic lunch box with ‘Only Paedos Need Privacy’ in sparkly writing. 

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Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

Dear Holly,The rat race is really starting to get me down. I’m sick and fed up at looking at people’s moany faces complaining about things which aren’t my fault and having to do loads of boring stuff like difficult sums and talking nonsense to angry people in suits. I’m thinking of jacking it all in and investing in a potter’s wheel. What do you think?Mervyn KingLondon

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