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Everyone paying for what they had is a sign one person got shitfaced

WHENEVER a group of diners decide to pay for exactly what each has consumed it is because one of the group got f**king wrecked, it has been confirmed. 

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We ask you: who should your football club wildly lash out £68 million on in a last, desperate lunge for success?

THE transfer deadline is upon us, making it imperative your club blows multiple millions on a player with a record of six goals in the Belgian second tier. But who? 

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