Subscribe

How not to chat up a woman when you're horribly pissed

ALCOHOL makes you better-looking and more interesting – that’s just a scientific fact. Yet somehow women don’t always fall into bed with you after nine pints. Here’s what to avoid.

Checking article access…

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday
privacy

A day in the life of a bigoted old white couple who'll decide our next PM

THE Tory leadership contest will soon be decided by the white, retired grassroots. So who are these key voters? Here party members Roy and Barbara Hobbs describe a typical day.

Checking article access…

Next story ›