How to tackle red wine stains while knowing they'll never, ever come out

TRY these handy methods of getting red wine stains out of your soft furnishings while simultaneously sobbing because you know they won’t work.

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Government to provide emergency heating but only for awful Tory pensioners

THE government is planning to supply emergency heaters, blankets and duvets to old folk, but only the ones who are diehard Conservatives.

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