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Wayne Rooney, and five other people it wouldn't surprise you to learn were pissed throughout

WAYNE Rooney has admitted drinking throughout his Manchester United career, explaining a great deal. Perhaps these other luminaries were smashed the whole time:

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Middle class wives and other things eastern European migrants are obviously not eating

ROYAL Parks have debunked Farage’s claim that eastern Europeans are eating swans. For the avoidance of doubt, neither are they snacking on these:

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