34-year-old realises he's easily the oldest and most desperate man in the nightclub

IT has dawned on a 34-year-old man that he is by far the most ancient and desperate person in a heaving night club.

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Windmill your cock: How to finally attract the attention of a waiter

YOUR polite hand gestures and meek eye contact are never going to get your food ordered. Time to take drastic action, like this:

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