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A bloke off the telly getting his knob out: the gimmicks keeping theatre alive

BRITONS aren’t natural theatregoers, but promise celebrity penis or make a shit film into a musical and we lap it up. And these gimmicks: 

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How bad your friend's break-up was, measured by her new haircut

THEY split last week. You’re meeting her for lunch after she’s visited the hairdressers. The haircut she gets determines how much of a bastard you need to say he was: 

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