Big Brother Contestants To Be Put To Sleep

CHANNEL Four last night said it had taken the 'extremely difficult' decision to put the latest batch of Big Brother housemates to sleep.

Checking article access…

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday
privacy

Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly, I'm a 30 year-old man and I think I'm in love with the woman next door, who happens to be nearly 45 years older than me. Although she looks vaguely like an elephant's scrotum I become aroused every time she puts out the milk bottles and I catch a glimpse of her stunning large bosom straining against her Littlewood's cardigan. It's as if Diana Dors has come back from the grave. Is there something terribly wrong with me? Simon Chichester

Checking article access…