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Cult leader issues new decree to followers

THE leader of a rabid, fanatical cult last night issued a new decree to her international army of acolytes.

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Torvill, Dean and five other celebrities who have spun their tiny amount of fame out for decades

FORTY years ago Britain did not give a f**k about figure skating. Then we briefly did, and despite everything two Olympic gold winners are still famous today. Like many others:  

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