F**ked-up space penguin to be best thing about new Star Wars

THAT weird half-penguin half-guinea pig thing in the new Star Wars movie will turn out to be easily the best bit, insiders have claimed.

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Cocaine use in restaurant trade possibly linked to idiotic food and ludicrous prices, say experts

A HIGH level of cocaine use in upmarket restaurants may explain why the dishes all sound idiotic and the prices are insane.

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