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Illegal Downloads Force Record Company Bosses To Use Street Drugs

THE growth in illegal music downloading is forcing desperate record company executives to buy less glamorous narcotics, the Daily Mash has learned.

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Power Of Positive Thinking Fails To Halt California Wildfires

POSITIVE thinking has failed to halt the wildfires in California with millions fleeing their homes despite staying fully focused on their goal of not seeing their house transformed into a smoking ruin.

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