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'The principal boy can identify however she pleases': The middle-class guide to explaining pantomimes to your kids

TAKING your precious darlings to a form of entertainment more usually attended by the working classes? Here’s how to explain what the hell is going on:

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The only five times your parents ever had sex

OBVIOUSLY your parents had sex in order to make you, but that doesn’t mean they’re prolific shaggers. These are definitely the only other times they did it.

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