Vaccine passports to make all gigs middle-aged men only by September, as they should be

THE only people allowed to see live music by September will be middle-aged men who respectfully enjoy the music without any fuss, as it should be.

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'I am f**king obsessed with migrants and I love it'

RETIRED grease trap cleaner Roy Hobbs is obsessed with migrants and regularly goes spotting on the Kent coast. He explains his rewarding hobby:

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