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Which Love Island contestants merit a wank in the shed? A Daily Mail guide

THE Daily Mail’s breathlessly contemptuous coverage of Love Island still answers the key question for its readers: which of the cast are worth a tug in the shed?

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Middle-aged man can't understand why abusing own body isn't fun anymore

A 48-YEAR-OLD is baffled as to why body-punishing treats like staying up late, drinking whiskey and eating fry-ups are no longer fun but just hurt. 

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