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Why I'm now forced to pretend Benny f**king Hill's hilarious, by a gammon

AS A gammon, I can’t be seen laughing at right-on lefties. Instead I enjoy dolly birds with big knockers and Indian men with bad English. Stuff that’s naturally funny. 

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'The prime minister is not on crystal meth, not confused about which country he lives in and was not in the rose garden with his cock out at 3am'

AFTER issuing a categorical denial that Boris Johnson is unwell and losing his grip, a Downing Street spokesman has issued a further, more specific denial. 

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