Woman desperate for Glastonbury to end so she can wank on about being at Glastonbury

A WOMAN at Glastonbury is counting down the seconds until the festival ends and she can start banging on about it to everyone.

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Virile, dashing young bachelor back on the market, announces The Sun

THE Sun has reported that Rupert Murdoch, a virile young buck with an impressively large dick, is back on the market.

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