I'VE been lucky enough to meet stars of stage, screen and indeed, some of my biggest sporting heroes. But the one interview which touched me most was with the woman who provides the voice you hear in post office queues. I am talking, of course, about those famous words, 'cashier number five, please'. She was the most wonderful lady, answering all my questions with grace and a good deal of wit. Unlike that monosyllabic fuckstick, Meg Ryan.

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