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Banks to be broken up into kittens

ROYAL Bank of Scotland, Lloyds and Northern Rock are to be broken up into lovely little kittens that would not hurt a fly, it emerged last night.

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Strauss 'Relaxed, Focused And Ready For Annihilation'

ENGLAND cricket captain Andrew Strauss arrived in South Africa yesterday insisting he was 'absolutely raring' to have his arse handed to him on a plate.

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