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Consumers To Link Oil Company Profits And Petrol Prices Any Day Now

OIL company executives were last night heading to undisclosed locations amid speculation that consumers were about to make the link between high petrol prices and corporate profits.

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Teenage Lives Complete As Grand Theft Auto Fills Gap Between Bouts Of Frenzied Masturbation

TEENAGE boys across Britain are celebrating after discovering a successful method of marking time between energetic masturbation sessions.

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