Dear Holly,I’m not having much success with the ladies these days, possibly because I’m fat and don’t wash or shave much. However, I’ve noticed that there’s a guy in my office who’s always got birds swarming round him, and I’ve heard on the grapevine that he’s a homosexual. I’m not sure I’m ready to let men do things to my bottom, but I’m willing to act all camp and bitchy if it means I get within sniffing distance of the ladies. Do you think this is a good plan?Horace,Swindon 

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