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Neglected Bankers Plot Spider Attack On Blind Kids

BANKERS are planning to post every blind child in the UK a poisonous tropical spider in a bid to reclaim their position as Britain's purest form of scum.

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MPs Begin Desperate Hunt For Loopholes

A NEW system of MPs' allowances was outlined by Gordon Brown last night as shamed members of parliament immediately began scouring it for scams and loopholes.

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