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Snow-bound Britain pretending presents don't matter

AS FREEZING weather and icy roads threatened to leave Britain without Christmas presents, people across the country insisted it didn’t matter in a series of putrid, stinking lies.

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Assange release causes sinister American to bang fist on table

THE release of Wikileaks founder Julian Assange yesterday caused a senior American to shout ‘godammit’ and bang his fist on a walnut conference table.

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