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Supermarkets Must Be Stabbed Through The Heart Under A Full Moon, Says Regulator

BRITAIN'S leading supermarket chains can only be defeated if a bronze dagger is plunged into their chest by the light of a full moon, the Competition Commission said today.

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Scientist Devoured By Eat-As-Much-As-You-Like Mouse

THE scientist who invented a mouse that could eat as much as it liked without getting fat has been found dead in his laboratory with his body covered in tiny teeth marks. 

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