Celebrity

PRINCE Harry has confessed his inability to understand what his petty shithead brother and his droopy impotent dick’s issues with him are.

YES, I am flogging my own signature range of sex toys. And this is a feminist event because society was too repressed to talk about mechanical knob substitutes until me.

THE diamond-studded bra worn by Kylie Jenner at a Victoria’s Secret show has been criticised by men for hiding her breasts from view.

A WOMAN is mortified to have to tell everyone she knows that she is attracted to a tall, charming, famous man, it has emerged.

POPE Leo has admitted to friends that his cancer diagnosis has been a wake-up call and a warning that he cannot live life in the fast lane forever.

EVER-RELIABLE box office draw Tom Cruise has made a frighteningly expensive flop with recent film Digger because he broke his own Tom Cruise rules.

A QUIZ-LOVING man watching BBC Two’s Only Connect was unable to answer any questions not because they were difficult, but because of Victoria Coren.

SO the police were wrong to search my home, eh? That means I’m innocent, and if you’re innocent of one thing you’re innocent of other things. That’s just how the law works.

OLIVIA Colman appeared in the Miu Miu show at Paris Fashion Week and made it perfectly clear it is one more f**king chore to get through. Here’s how to get that look.