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'F**k the Labour landslide, we've got rid of Lineker'

RIGHT-wingers are celebrating a victory which puts minor, piffling general election losses in the shade by condemning Gary Lineker to a lucrative retirement. 

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'They’ve betrayed my Brexit,' man says in small, pathetic voice

A MAN sitting at home alone watching news of a UK-EU deal has said ‘they’ve betrayed my Brexit’ almost too quietly and sadly to be heard. 

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