Holly to announce she is daytime's alpha and omega

HOLLY Willoughby is to open This Morning by announcing she is to ITV daytime like unto a God, and there is but one God and there were never two.

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Smug half-term holiday bastards acting like they won the f**king lottery

LEGIONS of self-congratulatory wankers who spent last week in sun-soaked domestic locations have returned to work to preen about it.

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