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How to explain Oasis to your children

OASIS have returned, to the confusion of children who cannot understand why shouted tunes with nonsense lyrics have eclipsed Taylor Swift. Here’s how to explain: 

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You will be long dead and the sun will explode but then things will get better, promises Starmer

THE prime minister has reassured the public that Britain will be back on track in around five billion years when the sun has become a red giant. 

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