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Genital hygiene, and other responsibilities you can sack off in a heatwave

AS you brace yourself for another heatwave, remember you can use it as an excuse to get out of annoying tasks. Such as these time-wasting chores:

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Six political heavyweights challenging Count Binface in the Clacton by-election

COUNT Binface is clearly the favourite to win the Clacton by-election. But it is impossible to rule out a surprise result with candidates of this calibre standing: 

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