Dear Holly,I have accidentally proposed to my girlfriend. After plying me with cider the evil temptress bewitched me with promises of a blow job and next thing I know, I’m down on one knee simpering about how much I would be honoured to take her as my wife. Last time I made an important decision whilst inebriated, I woke up covered in glitter next to a bloke with a pink feather boa, but at least he had the decency to never mention it to anyone. I have a feeling my girlfriend won’t be so understanding.  Am I going to have to marry the cow?Wayne,Salisbury 

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