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Rest of country demands unbearable London heat be livestreamed

THE rest of the UK has requested that today’s 33ºC heat in London be viewable on a livestream for their entertainment and pleasure. 

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One evening on dating app worth six months of couples' counselling

AN evening of interaction with the online dating market saves more marriages than half a year being excruciatingly honest with a relationship counsellor, it has emerged. 

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