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Old El Paso or Blue Dragon: Which meal kits are best for penetrative sex?

MEAL kits are a great way to make cooking more complicated and persuade the opposite sex to f**k you. Here’s the lowdown on which ones are most likely to lead to coitus.  

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Five ways British people will be total twats about a hosepipe ban

THE hosepipe bans coming into force will give Britain’s most annoying citizens countless ways to be pedantic bastards and tinpot Hitlers. Here’s how they’ll make the most of it.

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