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Randomly start a fight while ordering: the proper etiquette for buying a kebab at 3am while blind drunk

STAGGERING to the kebab shop after a night’s heavy drinking, pausing only to urinate in an alleyway? Remember to mind your manners and follow these protocols: 

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Woman wearing bold lipstick sacrifices drinking fluids

A WOMAN wearing a brightly-coloured lipstick has given up drinking fluids so as not to ruin it, it has emerged.

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