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Scientists confirm there is not enough alcohol in the world to make a vegan kebab enjoyable

THERE is not enough alcohol in the world to make a vegan kebab delicious, scientists have confirmed.

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Boris arranges to be abducted by aliens when Brexit deal goes through

AFTER dodging the Heathrow vote by visiting Afghanistan, Boris Johnson has arranged to be temporarily kidnapped by extra-terrestrials when the Brexit deal is confirmed.

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