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"Who could present MasterChef without non-stop innuendos and indecorous sexual behaviour?" "Nigella?"

MASTERCHEF producers looking for a new presenter who will not inject inappropriate sexuality into the show have decided Nigella Lawson would be perfect. 

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'I definitely know more than just Paranoid': six people mourning Ozzy Osbourne today

THE world is paying tribute to metal god Ozzy Osbourne, who died yesterday. These are just a few of the many mourning the Prince of Darkness: 

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