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Fitness freak friend plagued by unimaginable darkness

A MAN obsessed with the gym, weight-lifting and fitness is only trying to keep away terrors you could not begin to imagine, it has emerged. 

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Mudlarking the number one Guardian activity for twats

DIGGING around in the foetid mud of the Thames among the accumulated rubbish of the past 200 years is a shit way to spend a Saturday, it has emerged. 

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